UnGerryTitled, aka Ode to Tweedy Pie
As you may know, i’m inspired by Peter Doherty
Smack’s not my bag, so i’ve tried my hand at poetry
I dedicate this ode to the lovely Cheryl Tweedy
I hope these words of love will persuade the skank to see me
If she wants to take a chance, all she has to do is bell me
I’ll gladly bell her back - and that can be taken literally
I’m practically obsessed, it’s an infatuation
I don’t intend to rest until I’ve made a small donation
The ball’s in her court, I’m happy just to take it slow
But in the end, i’ll be diving like Ronaldo
I’m getting hot under the collar; I need something to cool me
I’ll have to think of that dog who’s wed to Rooney
Of all the players’ wives, she’s the runt of the litter
With Wayne Rooney’s dough, he should be dipping something fitter
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not misogynistic
I just don’t like the look of a pig in red lipstick
It may appear odd, but i’m confident in betting
That whenever she gets ill, Wayne has to call a vet in
He should dump this minging bint, and move on to something fancy
Only a fool at this stage would rule out Abby Clancy
I’ve recently discovered that Abby’s just a nickname
I’m mates with her ex, who’s made an outlandish claim
It’s hard to believe, it doesn’t seem rational
She’s had more members than the Abbey National
Enough with the gags, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty
One point at 5/4, on Manchester City
I can’t be having Spurs; not in the state they’re in
They’re going down, like they were Helen Chamberlain
