The Gazza Strip

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not all parties and yachts when you’re a Premiership footballer.  At this time of year, most players will face up to four matches in seven days, a schedule so tough, Wayne Rooney will be up and down the motorway living off cold turkey sandwiches.  He refuses to moan though, he enjoys an old bird. Man U are unbeaten in nine matches in the league, they’re a must bet at 4/11 at home to Bolton.

Cristiano Ronaldo is worth a little bet to open the scoring.  The Portuguese wonder-boy has had a disappointing season; he’s been on a bench more often than Paul Gascoigne.  The undisputed King of the unnecessary step-over is back in the starting 11; a return to form is imminent.  He’s 9/1 to score the first goal and 5/2 to score at any time. 

After going 93 matches for Man U without scoring, Rio Ferdinand has now bagged two in five games, a record that James Beattie can only dream about.  Rio’s a 10/1 shot to make that record three in six, stranger things have happened.

It’s not just turkeys that get stuffed over Christmas.  David Moyes is in the middle of the most embarrassing run since Paula Radcliffe relieved herself during the London marathon.  Everton face a Sunderland team who have just had their best result of the season; their midweek match was called off.  Get on the Mackems at 13/8.

Peter Crouch shoved Lee Bowyer to the ground on Boxing Day, an act that would normally receive a red card and a three match ban.  The lanky striker can consider himself fortunate to be available for selection against West Brom; he’s not very good at football.  Stevie Gerrard is back to his sublime best for the Pool, he’s a 13/8 shot to find the back of the net against Albion.  Liverpool are good things at 1/4.  

Steve Bruce didn’t endear himself to the Birmingham supporters when he waved to Manchester United fans as the Blues lost heavily in the Cup.  If Bruce’s familiarity with opposition supporters is in relation to how badly they get beat, he might end up crowd surfing with the Chelsea fans.  Chelsea are a 1/6 certainty.

It’s been widely reported that Graeme Souness wants Alan Shearer to stay on for another season, he probably will; as manager.  Souness may have settled the dressing-room squabbling, but he can’t find a cure for their away day blues.  The Geordies travel to White Hart Lane; Spurs get the nod at 4/6. 

Milan Baros proved to be tasty with his hands against Everton, the Villa could do with a 2nd keeper when the Arsenal come to town.  The Gunners are 4/6; they’re home, and almost certainly, hosed.