Conferring, Referring and undoubted Porridge Stirring

Some men dream of wealth, others cherish power.  I however, have a thirst for knowledge.  (And lager.)  In order to complete my quest for a greater understanding of life’s complexities, the following questions need to be asked.

To Sven Goran Eriksson, “You’re Swedish, this is England, why a quarter-back?”

To David James, “Where were you last Saturday night?”

To Vince Vaughn, “What’s it like stirring Brad Pitt’s porridge?”

To Michael Owen, “Why did you sign for Newcastle?” 

Michael’s arrival at St James’ Park was an incredible turn of events.  His decision to leave Madrid was sound, but to sign for Newcastle instead of the European Champions was simply astonishing.

The Geordies finished 14th in the league last season, and are sitting 19th in the table now, without a goal to their name.  Amazingly, after conferring with Alan Shearer, Michael turned down Champions League football to join the previously sinking ship. 

Owen’s decision making may be questionable, but his ability in front of goal is world-class.  The Toon Army go from no-hopers to weekend nap material, get on at 8/13.

The signing of Owen has completely shaken up the ‘betting without the big 3’ market.  With Nobby Solano and Alberto Luque supplying Alan Shearer and Michael Owen, goals and a charge up the table are guaranteed.  Where will Newcastle finish at the end of the season?  I’ll name that Toon in 4.  

Sunderland are in real trouble as they head to the Bridge to face Chelsea.  The Mackems recent form guide displays more L’s than a Welsh atlas, while the Blues have a 100% record and are yet to concede a goal.  Odds of 1/8 will not make us rich, but as Rio Ferdinand would testify, money isn’t everything.

Backing the draw in a football match is the equivalent of ringing up a telephone survey to declare that you don’t know the answer; but in the case of West Ham v Villa, the stats say it’s the only option.  Eight out of the last ten league matches have ended in a stalemate, get on at 11/5.

Andy Cole will play in his first Manchester derby as a blue, and his early season form makes him a real contender at 8/1 to net the opener.  A word of warning though, ‘Old King Cole’ has never scored against United since leaving the Red Devils; so unlike Wayne Rooney at a barbecue, keep your stakes small.

Thierry Henry broke Irish hearts in midweek, and could well smash Arsenal’s all time goal scoring record at the weekend.  The French genius needs two goals against Boro to over-take Highbury legend/nutcase Ian Wright; get on at 4/1.

Here’s a little inside information; you should back a sending off in the West Ham v Villa match at 4/1; the word on the street is that there could be claret all over the pitch.