Spot-Fixing – An Exposé

Jimmy Savile getting his nonce onI still haven’t forgiven the BBC for allowing Savile to nonce with impunity; it’s the second-biggest scandal in their history, after hiring Robbie Savage as a football expert..

Spot-Fixing – An Exposé

 


Justice for the Whiny Spic

This Is KlanfieldRacism is like Helen Chamberlain; just because everyone did it in the 70’s it doesn’t make it acceptable today.

Justice for the Whiny Spic

 

 

 

My Bart Will Go On (All Fours)

Conclusive evidence that Joey Barton is gayJoey Barton has dropped a few hints about his sexuality on social networking sites. He tweeted “Alex Song’s tackle left a nasty taste in my mouth.”

My Bart Will Go On (All Fours)

 

 

Shaming Primate Ryan

Ryan Giggs and Imogen in happer timesAfter the Imogen story broke, it was then revealed that Giggs had slept with his brother’s wife and paid £500 for an abortion. That was a monkey down the drain, quite literally.

Shaming Primate Ryan

 

 

 

The No-Ball Art of Harrying

Harry Redknapp is not a thieving twitchy wheeler dealerNovember sees the other event that I simply cannot wait for; The Ashes. That is assuming that the Thatchers opt for a cremation.

The No-Ball Art of Harrying

 

 

 

‘There’s a Bad Roon on the Rise’ aka ‘It’s Gonna Blow Ogre!’ aka ‘Spitting with Wayne’

The Sun's infamous anti-Scouse headlineWhatever the reason behind Rooney’s infidelity, it’s incredulous that he had to pay £1,200 to give his Purple Wayne a little shower. Women normally flock around footballers like flies around John Terry, so something doesn’t add up, and I’m not talking about Robbie Savage.

‘There’s a Bad Roon on the Rise’ aka ‘It’s Gonna Blow Ogre!’ aka ‘Spitting with Wayne’

 

 

Always remember the 9th of November

9/11 lolsI’m not a political expert, but even I know that 9/11 isn’t just the number of heterosexuals in the Chelsea team.

Always remember the 9th of November

 

 

It ain’t over ‘til the fat Brady swings

Karren Brady has lost a little weightKarren Brady is undoubtedly good for the Premier League’s image, as she ticks a number of boxes, namely ‘female’, ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’. I don’t think it would be unfair to say she put the ‘ming’ in Birmingham, and now the ‘ton’ in Upton Park.

It ain’t over ‘til the fat Brady swings

 

 

The World Cup’s Gonna Get Messi

Coleen Trying to Kill Wayne RooneyEngland’s chances of success, much like the sun, revolve around Wayne Rooney. And just like when Coleen asked him for a better view at the Glastonbury festival, that’s a ridiculous amount of weight to place on a young man’s shoulders.

The World Cup’s Gonna Get Messi

 

 

Arsehole United

Gary Neville, the busiest tool since Kate McCann's shovelPlaying at right back for Arsehole United is Gary Neville, undoubtedly the busiest tool since Kate McCann’s shovel.

Arsehole United

 

 

A Johnny Pork Her and Seven Up

John Terry banging a team-mate's bintIn an attempt to placate his bint, Ashley Cole has turned to religion. He can often be found on his knees, practicing on a hymn.

A Johnny Pork Her and Seven Up

 

 

It’s Like Déjà Vu All Over Again

Frank Lampard's NicknameOne of my genuine conquests was a German girl who was close to being a perfect ‘10’. She was extremely conceited though: she knew she was a ‘9’, and she wouldn’t shut up about it while making love.

It’s Like Déjà Vu All Over Again