Terry’s Chocolate Outrage

John Terry crying like a ginger babyIt’s not been a great week for right-wingers. A leak of the BNP membership list has left many knuckle-dragging hate-mongers fearing for their careers. “I could lose my job,” whined a Mr T from Saffwest London.

Terry’s Chocolate Outrage

 

Gunners on Fire…Police Suspect Arsene

Jugged up skank, twat, two kids and a whaleOn a more serious note, did you know that in some parts of the world it costs just £10 to feed a child for a month? I’m guessing that it’s not Peter Andre’s house.

Gunners on Fire…Police Suspect Arsene

 

UnGerryTitled, aka Ode to Tweedy Pie

Peter DohertyAs you may know, i’m inspired by Peter Doherty
Smack’s not my bag, so i’ve tried my hand at poetry

UnGerryTitled, aka Ode to Tweedy Pie

 

The Twitch is Back

Brady and HindleyI could have been a copper. I passed the medical, and my ability to stand upright ensured I passed the IQ test: I just didn’t want to spend my time taking phone calls from bigoted Daily Mail readers about a Russell Brand gag.

The Twitch is Back

 

Wise Guy’s To Blame For Pork Shortage

Back Door ActionI don’t really want to brag, but I’m something of a stallion in the boudoir - i’ve smashed through more back doors than Vic Mackey’s Strike Team.

Wise Guy’s To Blame For Pork Shortage

 

Rocking and a-kneelin’ Barber Stan

Cashley Barber-FillerAshley Cole’s alleged infidelity came as no real surprise to me, as he and Tweedy appeared to be incompatible from the very beginning. Cheryl’s a down-to-earth lass who just wanted a ring on her finger - Ashley just wanted a finger on his ring.

Rocking and a-kneelin’ Barber Stan

 

Giant Anteater Devours Small Man

Giant Anteater It takes me a long while to reach the stage where I feel comfortable enough with a partner to move things on to a physical level. When the time does finally arrive, I’m often so overcome with emotion that I’ll gently shed a few tears. Although this may just be a reaction to the mace.

Giant Anteater Devours Small Man

 

I’m a Berby Girl…Ouch

Mel COne United player who does deserve criticism is Ronaldo.  The Portuguese ladyboy earned another contentious penalty last week after collapsing like Judy Finnegan’s breasts.

I’m a Berby Girl…Ouch

 

Hel Bent For Leather

Ming CityI definitely wouldn’t have been so obsessed with the dilapidated presenter if the wife had dished out a little more pie. In her defence, she has picked up a nasty rash in an area that makes such behaviour problematic – it’s the most irritating twat since Michel Platini.

Hel Bent For Leather

 

Ade and a Bet

Adrian ChilesA number of years ago, Paul McCartney and I swapped partners for a programme that would revolutionise TV. The format was still in its infancy then, so the pilot of ‘Wife-Beater Swap’ was never aired.

Ade and a Bet